“Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard.”
I’m sure you have seen or heard his quote used in primetime dramas, romantic comedies, and relationship blogs—guilty. But it couldn’t be truer. The courting stage and even the first few years of marriage are usually filled with pure bliss. Your both madly in love and can’t spend enough time together. If you fast forward a few more years and the compliments and cuddles aren’t as consistent.
It’s normal, but the trick is to not get stuck in this rut. Don’t let time create space between you and your partner. Instead, make conscious decisions to maintain that strong bond you both had when you couldn’t keep your eyes or hands off of one another.
Speak to One Another
I’m not talking about discussing bills or parent-teacher conferences. Keep the focus on one another. The first question you both ask when either one of you walks in at night should be, “how was your day?” Take a few minutes to talk about how one another felt throughout the day, what happened and even throw in an “I missed you.” Sometimes we feel these emotions throughout the day, but don’t remember to communicate them later on. Set time aside a few times throughout the week to connect without distractions—no TV, phone or emails. You can even set a time to hit the sheets a little earlier.
Just touching your significant other’s hand can let them know “I’m thinking of you,” and “I’m here.” Whether it’s a hug, kiss or touch on the shoulder, anything that brings you together physically can connect you emotionally.
Touch One Another
Just placing a hand on his leg, or wrapping your arm around her neck as you relax on the couch can incite a connection without talking. It gives you a lot of time to reconnect. It can say “I love you,” “I missed you,” or “I care.” Just touching your significant other’s hand can let them know “I’m thinking of you,” and “I’m here.” Whether it’s a hug, kiss or touch on the shoulder, anything that brings you together physically can connect you emotionally. It doesn’t have to be sexual or lead to sex, but it is always intimate.
Have Foreplay All Day
Yes, you can leave one another to go to work and still engage in foreplay throughout the day. Who says foreplay only happens through physical touch? This is when couples think outside the box and have fun, just like in the early dating stages. Keep that same energy and initiate foreplay before you leave in the morning. Here’s an example:
After saying your goodbyes, whisper, “I can’t wait to come back home and see you later.” Then during the day, send a text, or even voice message saying, “I can’t stop thinking about you. You looked so gorgeous/handsome this morning.” When you’re leaving work, send another text or give them a call and say, “I’m excited to be heading home so I can hold you tonight.”
These messages aren’t blunt or sexual per se, but that’s the beauty of them. They will make your partner feel a special, intimate connection that you both will want to act on later that night.
Strengthening your communication in a relationship can also strengthen your bond. Here’s what you should keep in mind when speaking to your partner.
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