When you’re trying to move on, lingering emotions can have you feeling stuck and can keep you from a happier future. In today’s blog, we’ll go over a few critical steps to moving on and finally being free of your past
Allow yourself to feel it
There’s a saying “The only way out is through”. This means that to get through and to get over a tough situation, you must first allow yourself to go through it. We all want to skip the pain and the discomfort, but you have to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that come with the situation. Acknowledge the anger, shame, bitterness, fear, or sadness that you may have. Acknowledge the emotions, process them, accept what happened, and move on. The longer you suppress your feelings, the longer you delay your healing.
It can be very tempting to self indulge or to neglect oneself while experiencing emotional pain but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Neglecting self-care will only make you feel worse and set you back from reaching your ultimate goal of moving on. Remember to exercise, sleep, and eat properly. This will help put your body and mind in a better position to move forward.
Silence your inner critic
Often times, we have an inner dialogue with ourselves. There’s this critical inner voice that seems to kick us when we’re already down. This inner voice can make us pity ourselves, make us feel that we are not worthy of love, & make us believe we can’t trust anyone. Listening to this inner voice can result in depression, seclusion, low self-esteem, and mistrust. Recognize this voice and know that it’s wrong. It’s fear and insecurities speaking, not the truth.
After a traumatic experience, it’s normal to get in your own head and want to distance yourself from the world. Distancing yourself will only put you in a worse headspace than before. Call your loved ones and socialize. Engage in fun, beneficial activities. Surround yourself with people and things that make you happy and enrich your life. Doing so will serve as a reminder that you are not alone, that you are still loved, and that there is still so much in life to live for and to be happy about.
Be realistic about what was
Obsessing over the past can make us start idolizing it. When you look back over the past, reflect on it for what it was. It’s common to focus only on the positive things that happened in the past when we miss it, but this makes it harder to accept the reality that it’s over and that it’s time to move on. Its denial. Remember that there were struggles and issues in your past. They were real reasons why things did not work out and there are real reasons why you should move on.
Talk to someone
Some people believe the way to move on is to not talk about what happened, but no matter how difficult it is to talk about your feelings, it’s a critical step to moving forward. Share your feeling and experiences with someone that has been through the same thing. Find a level-headed person that you can trust…someone that will help you silence that negative inner voice. If you aren’t comfortable with speaking to someone in your inner circle, consider seeking help from a therapist. A therapist can provide a safe space, nonbiased opinion, a place for us to vent, process, and find healthy coping mechanisms.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.