A new love interest can feel exciting and refreshing. What you have gotten to know about them so far may seem promising & perhaps you’re considering entering a serious relationship with them. Due to your current feelings, it may seem like the next logical step is to jump into a serious relationship with them. While there’s nothing wrong with your feelings and desires, it’s important to ask your love interest these questions first before fully jumping in.
What Do You Consider Cheating?
Cheating means different things to different people. For some, physical cheating is what matters, but for others, cyber cheating, emotional cheating, and text message cheating are equally as devastating & worth mentioning. Where do they draw the line on ideas such as pornography or what is inappropriate to do with other people? Do they even have a line?
Before you take your relationship to the next level, you must be on the same page about clear boundaries. But be sure your partner can even agree to these boundaries.
Do You Want Kids?
Perhaps this conversation seems a bit premature, but it needs to be asked early. Wanting to have kids or not is a dealbreaker for many. Why waste your time on someone that doesn’t have the same desires as you? Having children is a big deal & can change the trajectory of one’s life.. so if an adult has decided they don’t want any (or any more), believe it & don’t count on them to change their mind.
Why Didn’t Your Last Relationship Work Out?
Ask your partner about their last relationship. Ask questions such as why it ended, how they coped when it ended, and even what they would have done differently in the relationship. Ask about what went wrong, but also what went right. These answers can be very revealing if you closely pay attention.
As your partner begins opening up about their past relationship, keep in mind that a relationship is a two-way street and many final decisions are a result of what both parties did (or didn’t do). With that being said, pay attention to who gets blamed and what your partner takes responsibility for (if anything).
These kinds of conversations can be emotional and nerve-wracking, so be sure to set the intention to understand your partner better…and be sure to communicate that to them. These kinds of conversations could also help you know what kinds of mistakes the two of you might want to avoid in your own relationship.
In addition to asking these questions, be sure to observe. Observe how they treat the waiter on dates (do they treat certain people as less than? Or equally?) Observe how they look at women/men in public (are they downright mean to others? Do they constantly stare at body parts?) Observe how he/she speaks of their ex (for some that share children, the same place of worship, or work exes, this may be more relevant. What they do may be equally as revealing as what they say. Observation and questions will lead to much insight that will guide you in making your next crucial choices.
Many relationships could be saved if people used better tools to communicate. If the tools you’ve been using to communicate with your partner aren’t working, try using the communication tools listed below. They may not be easy, but they’re simple, and the effects could greatly improve the quality of your relationship.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.