Have you ever snooped around your partner’s belongings? Have you ever looked through their phone, in search of specific pictures or personal messages? Perhaps you snoop right now on your current partner, or maybe it’s something you did in the past that you aren’t opposed to doing again if you ever suspected dishonesty from your partner. Below are four points to consider about snooping and your relationship.
The Golden Rule
You know the golden rule that says” Treat others the way you want to be treated”? Imagine how you would feel if your privacy was invaded…if someone spied on you or went through your personal belongings. Snooping is essentially spying and being dishonest. And if you really think about it, it’s doing the very thing we’re afraid of our partner doing -being dishonest.
Snooping Feeds Fear
When you snoop, what you actually fear is your partner engaging in activities that you disapprove of (spending huge amounts of money without your knowledge, being sexually involved with other people, hanging out with friends that are bad influence). There’s a world of things you can imagine that could be happening and when you snoop, it only feeds your fear. It doesn’t take much for your fears to be fed, but with a little encouragement (snooping), it can grow into something enormous that can consume your mind. Once you’re in this state, it’s difficult to think rationally and you usually keep looking for things to prove your fear is real.
It Breaks Trust
We all know how long it takes to open your heart up to someone and start trusting them, but it only takes a moment to destroy it all, and it can be even harder to build that trust up again once it has been broken. Maybe you feel that your partner has broken the trust between you, but snooping around will only worsen the trust issue and make your partner feel insecure about you being around their personal items. Many people want to retaliate once they’ve been hurt, but revenge doesn’t heal anything. It only worsens the issue and your partner may never get over you snooping.
Snooping Can Lead To Stalking
Snooping can be a gateway behavior into stalking. At first, snooping can seem harmless, but what starts out as just looking through someone’s phone can lead to checking their computer, then driving by to see if your partner really is where he/she says they are and who they’re with. Snooping is a slippery slope.
If you suspect that your partner is being dishonest, don’t snoop around for confirmation of your suspicion. Talk to your partner about your feelings. The reality is that even if you don’t have proof of your partner being unfaithful, once you are suspicious of them, there’s a problem in your relationship and you need help. Consider a therapist to help create a safe space and healthy exchange for you and your partner to discuss this very serious matter. Mistrust and insecurities should not be taken lightly and will always be a hindrance from a healthy relationship and a happy you. Not to mention, cheating (if your suspicion about your partner is accurate, then you’ll definitely need the help of a therapist). You will need the help of a therapist to help you and your partner get back on the right track. You don’t have to solve your relationship problems on your own.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.