We have very open communication in our relationship – there are no secrets. This statement should come with an asterisk. Is it possible to disclose every single detail of your life to your partner? I doubt we all remember all the details enough to talk about them. I am all for open and honest communication, sharing past experiences, and venting about your unbearable boss. But should you really tell your partner everything? Let’s dive into the different topics you should think twice about before opening up and why it may not be wise to over-share.
Intimate Details of Past Relationships
This is an iffy one that depends on the type of person you’re with. Will your partner be comfortable hearing about wild positions you did with an ex or your experimental phase? Even if you’re both very open and talk about your exes freely, I’d still suggest treading lightly with how much you reveal. You never know what could touch a nerve, and even if your partner thinks they will be comfortable with it certain details may affect them more than they’d like.
As tempting as it may be, sharing private information with your partner after a friend confides in you is not good for anyone. Your friend has trusted you with their feelings and problems and is not expecting that you will pass along the information with anyone. Talking about those problems can violate that trust and he/she may not feel comfortable opening up to you again. Depending on the information, your partner may also start looking at your friend differently. While you are listening with empathy, and support, your partner may not be as close to your friend and unconsciously judge the situation.
The friend logic applies with family; only it goes a little deeper. If you and your sister is going through a personal situation or your parents aren’t on good terms, it may not be best to bring that up with your partner. Unless you are heavily impacted by these instances, sharing these issues may do more harm than good. Your partner didn’t grow up with your family and doesn’t share the same bond that you do. So while they feel welcomed, your partner may hold on to certain behavioral patterns your family members have. They can start seeing them through the image that you’ve created based on their shortcomings, mistakes, or problems. In this case, it’s important to know the type of person you’re with before disclosing certain details about your family.
You’re Just Not That Into His/Her Family
If your partner is going on and on about how his father has been giving him a hard time or her aunt can’t keep secrets, don’t join in on the rant. Even if you wholeheartedly agree, it’s still not best not to contribute that way. They feel comfortable saying how much their family annoys them, but they won’t feel the same hearing it from you. This sends the message that you don’t like their family and causes a bigger issue. Instead, give them words of encouragement or advice on how to resolve the problem. Before you respond, ask whether your partner just needed time to vent or if they’re looking for feedback.
Think your partner has been keeping too much from you lately? Understand the five stages of cheating and how your relationship can survive it.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.